Gaslighting – ShareWell Glossary

Gaslighting: When Reality Starts to Feel Uncertain

For many people, especially those in emotionally heavy relationships, reality doesn’t always feel set. Your emotions can feel uncertain and your confidence can slowly fade over time. This experience is called gaslighting and it’s more than a disagreement or misunderstanding. It’s psychological manipulation that makes someone doubt their perception of reality.

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting occurs when someone repeatedly denies or minimizes your experiences and makes you question your memory or your feelings. Over some time, this can create confusion and self doubt. It often leads to questions like “Am I overreacting?” or “Did this really happen?” Gaslighting isn’t about one argument or one mistake. It is a pattern that disconnects someone from their reality. It shows up in relationships such as romantic, platonic, and family dynamics.

How Gaslighting Works

Gaslighting happens quietly through behaviors such as:

Changing what happened in the past to place responsibility and blame onto you
Acting confused or offended when you share hurt feelings
Stating that your memory is wrong when it wasn’t
Denying that events happened
Minimizing your feelings
Changing the subject when confronted about a lie

What Gaslighting Can Feel Like

Living with gaslighting can feel disorienting and isolating. It may show up as:

Constantly second guessing yourself in every situation
Apologizing when you don’t know what you did wrong
Feeling anxious before speaking up in any situation
Needing reassurance to make your own decisions
Low self esteem

What Can Help

Here are some things that can help you heal:

Seek outside perspective: Talking with trusted people or family can help with isolation
Practice self validation: Your feelings don’t need permission to exist
Create boundaries: It’s okay to create space between you and conversations that lead to self doubt
Focus: Focus on actions, not words

How ShareWell Supports People Healing From Gaslighting

At ShareWell, we offer spaces where your experience is valid and believed without question. Our peer support groups provide something many people recovering from gaslighting deeply need, validation without judgement.

In our sessions, members share openly and listen with care. Being heard by others who truly listen and understand can help restore a sense of grounding and self trust. Because healing isn’t about arguing with the past.

At ShareWell, we believe reality doesn't need to be defended. It deserves to be honored.

Want support from people who get it? Join an online support group today.

To view our sessions on Gaslighting, click here.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting occurs when someone repeatedly denies or minimizes your experiences and makes you question your memory or your feelings.

How is gaslighting different from normal conflict?

Normal conflict involves differing perspectives where both people can express themselves. Gaslighting dismisses or distorts your experience entirely, often leaving you questioning what's true.

Where does gaslighting show up?

Gaslighting can show up in romantic relationships, friendships, family dynamics, and workplace environments.

What are common signs of gaslighting?

Gaslighting often shows up through behaviors like denying events or conversations ever happened, telling you your memory is wrong, minimizing or dismissing your feelings, shifting blame onto you, acting confused or offended when you express hurt, and changing the subject when confronted.

What can gaslighting feel like?

Gaslighting can feel like constantly second guessing yourself in every situation, apologizing when you don't know what you did wrong, feeling anxious before speaking up in any situation, needing reassurance to make your own decisions, and low self esteem.

Why is gaslighting harmful?

Over time, gaslighting can disconnect you from your sense of reality. It can erode your confidence, increase anxiety, and make it difficult to trust your own thoughts and feelings.

How can I cope with or heal from gaslighting?

Seek outside perspective: Talking with trusted people or family can help with isolation. Practice self validation: Your feelings don't need permission to exist. Create boundaries: It's okay to create space between you and conversations that lead to self doubt. Focus: Focus on actions, not words.

How can I tell if I'm being gaslit?

If you frequently question your memory, feel confused after conversations, or rely on others to confirm your reality, it may be a sign of gaslighting, especially if these patterns happen repeatedly with the same person.